A Parka-less Kenny
by SportzIsLife
Summary: Due to unfortunate circumstances, Kenny can't wear his parka for a while. But he still has to go to school. Which means that the girls will see him…hoodless. Is this going to be good or bad for Kenny? Meanwhile, the boys are sick of Cartman's antics and insults, and drop a serious insult on his head…figuratively. What will Cartman do? Review! South Park!
1. Kenny's dilemma

Kenny was pacing his room. This couldn't happen to him. He can't have this happen to him. Ever since he could remember, he had that valuable piece of clothing with him. Now, it got ripped up! And he doesn't have the money to get it sewed back together, and he doesn't have the money to go buy a new one. He'll have to save up. But he can't just make the money overnight. It'll take him a while. And that means he'll…no, he can't. Kenny grabbed his white t-shirt and ran out his house.

"I don't know what to do, Phillip! I can't seem to let my farts out anymore!" Terrance exclaimed.

"You mean like this?" Phillip jumped up and farted in Terrance's face. They both laughed. So did Stan, Kyle, and Cartman, who were watching Terrance and Phillip at Cartman's house. Then a doorbell rang. No one got up to answer it. It then rang again.

"Mom, get the door!" Cartman yelled up the stairs. However, his mom didn't come down to answer it. "Meeeem!" Cartman whined, but his mom still didn't come down to answer it.

"Dude, it's your house, just answer it." Stan said.

"Dammit." Cartman got up and answered the door, "Oh, hey Kinny. Terrance and Philip already started dude, where the hell were you?"

"I'm not here to watch Terrance and Philip; I need to talk to you guys." Kenny said as he walked in.

"Who was i-oh, hey Kenny." Kyle greeted Kenny as Kenny approached the two on the couch, followed by Cartman.

"Dude, you already missed the first half of Terrance and Philip." Stan said.

"Look, you guys, I need a favor." Kenny said, looking down.

Stan then gasped a little, "Dude, where's your parka?"

"That's what I'm talking about! My parka got ripped somehow, I think when I was walking out the mall the door ripped my parka. I didn't notice at first, but when I got home I noticed my parka had a huge hole on the left side."

"So? Dude, Kenny, you're poor! No one's going to care if you're wearing ripped clothing." Cartman said.

"Shut up, Cartman! Look, I need to buy a new parka, but I don't have any money. Can you guys give me 20 bucks?"

"Y-you're asking us to give you money? Hahahahahaha you're so poor!"

"Fuck you, Cartman!" Kenny turned to Stan and Kyle, "Can I borrow 10 bucks from each of you, so that I'll have enough to buy a new one?"

Stan and Kyle looked at each other, before Kyle spoke, "Well, dude, I'm saving up for all the video games coming out this fall. There's like, four that I want, so I can't really give anyone money."

Cartman started laughing again, "Oh, look! Did you hear that Stan? Kinny? Kahl said he can't give anyone money! It's a greedy Jew! Hahahahahaha!"

Kenny rolled his eyes and turned to Stan, "Stan? Can I please borrow some money? I'll pay you back when I get a chance."

Stan sighed, "Dude, it's not that big a deal if you don't have your parka on. No one's going to care. You're worrying over nothing."

"No, you don't understand, dude! I'll get killed! All the chicks are gonna think I'm super ugly!"

"No they won't, Kenny. Just act normal." Kyle reassured.

"Don't do this to me, guys! Please! Just please give me 20 bucks total so that I can buy a new parka! Please!"

"Dude, just calm down. We're not giving you any money, so you just have to deal with this. You ripped your parka, so you deal with the consequences. Maybe if you were watching where you were going, instead of looking at those chicks' boobs, you wouldn't have ripped your parka." Stan said.

Kenny was now glaring at Stan, "Fine! But when I get ridiculed for how I look tomorrow don't come crying to me!" Kenny then proceeded to leave, slamming the door hard.

Kyle was dumbfounded, "Why would we go crying to him when it's his problem?" He asked Stan.

"Dude, I don't know, let's just watch the rest of Terrance and Phillip."

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were at the bus stop the next day waiting on the bus when an angry looking Kenny walked up to them. He crossed his arms and looked away. Stan sighed.

"Kenny, it's not that big a deal, so stop acting like you're on your period or something."

Cartman agreed, "Yeah dude, you're acting like a total 16 year old girl right now."

Tears started forming in Kenny's eyes, "You guys don't understand. The girls will think I'm ugly. Then, if they think I'm ugly, I'll never get laid."

"Dude! You are ten years old, why are you worrying about getting laid?!" Kyle yelled.

The bus pulled up before the boys could continue their argument. Stan and Cartman got on, with Kyle following, but then Kyle realized that Kenny wasn't moving.

"Kenny, come on."

"I can't get on that thing Kyle, they'll see me!"

"Oh God!" Kyle left Kenny and got on the bus. Kenny reluctantly followed. As soon as Kenny reached the aisle, the kids on the bus gave a collective gasp. Kenny looked down and tried to hide his face, but it was of no use. Everyone saw Kenny's face and were now whispering to whoever was sitting next to them about Kenny's face. Kenny started shaking, and sat down next to Cartman.

"Do you see Kenny? No one's laughing at you or pointing at you." Stan said from the seat behind.

"But they're whispering." Kenny said.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Stan. Only a few of our classmates ride this bus. We'll just have to wait until we reach the skewl to see just how everyone thinks of a parka-less Kinny." Cartman said.

"Shut up, Cartman! You're only making it worse!"

"Well excuse me for speaking the truth, Stan!" Stan gets angry at Cartman's statement.

"At least I can pronounce 'school' and 'Kenny' properly!"

"Aye! There is nothing wrong with now I talk, Stan! Isn't that right, Kahl?"

"My name is not Kahl, Fatass! It's Kyle! How hard is it to say?"

Kenny just sighed as his three friends started arguing with each other over something stupid. He didn't have the heart to stop their verbal war, since he had his own problems to worry about. Like how the hell he was going to hide his face from all his classmates, especially the chicks.

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**I decided to start this story while I wait for any OC's that may come in my other story. And I've decided to write this in story format just to be safe, since I heard that Fanfiction doesn't like anything in script format. Please, please review! Thanks in advance. **


	2. Kyle's had enough

"No, I'm not doing it!" Principal Victoria sternly said.

"Oh, come on! Why not?" Kenny inquired.

"Because Kenny, you don't have a valid excuse. So I cannot request the Mayor to get you sent off to Antarctica to live with the penguins."

Kenny sighed, "Ok, then how about you let me skip school until I raise enough money to buy a new parka."

"No, Kenny! Why are you even here? It's not a big deal! If anyone makes fun of you, just tell on them."

"What? No way, I'm not a tattle-tale!"

Principal Victoria sighed, "Fine then. If you get made fun of you'll just have to deal with it."

"How about I wrap my head in toilet paper and cut out a hole for my mouth?"

"What if someone just comes behind you and pulls it off?"

"Dammit!" Kenny stormed out Principal Victoria's office, but not before making sure that no one was there to see him.

Stan, Kyle, and Cartman catch up to Kenny as he heads to his locker.

"What'd she say, Kenny?" Stan asked.

"She just said that she wasn't going to help me and that I would have to deal with it."

"So…basically what we told you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

Clyde, Craig, Tweek, Jimmy, and Token caught up to them.

"Sup gu-woah, Kenny, dude. Where's your jacket? You look different without it." Clyde stared at Kenny.

"Oh shut up, Clyde! You saw me without my parka at Stan's tenth birthday party, remember?"

"Yeah, I know, but still, it's…surreal."

"Surreal? Why? Is it because I'm ugly?"

"No, just because you always have your jacket on." Craig said.

"How is that surreal? You know what, don't tell me, I don't give a shit." Kenny walked away from the eight boys and headed to his locker.

"Dude, I don't understand why Kinny is worrying so much. He's such a fag. A poor fag, at that." Cartman said.

"Dude, shut up Cartman! Why do you rip on people anyway?" Stan asked.

"Because you all are inferior to me, duh. I mean seriously, Stan, I thought you would be smarter than that, but I guess I thought wrong."

"Inferior to you?! You're the fattest, most retarded, racist, egotistical, self-centered, manipulative asshole here. How the hell are we inferior to you?" Kyle retorted.

"Aye, shut up, Jew! I'm the kewlest person hyah, just ask anyone."

Kyle became enraged, "No you aren't! Nobody likes you! We all hate you and the only reason we hang out with you is because you won't leave us alone! You talk like a retard, no offense Jimmy, and you never, ever, do anything from the goodness of your heart! Whenever you think of something, it's always for your personal gain! Why do you think I was laughing at you when you got AIDS, or cheered for you when you tried to fly off your roof? It's because you're a heartless dick and a failure! Why do you think every one of your schemes fail? You wanna know why? It's because you're a fucking failure, you always have been, and you always will be! So while the rest of us are enjoying decent lives as middle-class or wealthy people, you'll be some poor, lonely, fat failure! What do you have to say to that, you fat fuck?!"

Cartman just gaped at Kyle's rant, "…I…I don't-"

"Exactly! You don't know what to say, because you're a bitch who always becomes a coward whenever he's exposed! Why don't you just go kill yourself, you little bitch?! Nobody likes you, and we all know damn well you'll never, ever, do anything for this world out of the goodness of your heart! You will never contribute anything but evil to this planet, so just end your life before you end anyone else's!" Kyle stormed to class, leaving Cartman and the other seven boys with their jaws dropped.

Cartman then started laughing nervously, "You don't agree with that filthy Jew, do you guys?" The boys just glared at Cartman.

"Actually, we do. Fuck you Cartman." Stan said as he walked off to class. All the other boys yelled, 'yeah' and followed Stan to class, leaving Cartman shocked and heartbroken. Craig, however, came back to Cartman, brightening Cartman up, but then Craig flipped Cartman off and caught up to the other boys, once again leaving Cartman shocked and heartbroken.

"Fine! That's just fine! Screw you assholes anyway, I don't need you guys! Why don't you guys just go have sex with each other?!" He yelled. He then started crying, and reluctantly followed everyone else to class.

Kenny was standing at the door of his classroom. Everyone else was inside, and none of the girls had seen him yet, since he was able to avoid them. Well, he thought everyone was inside, until a bawling Cartman walked past him and into the classroom. Kenny wanted to ask Cartman what was wrong, but he had his own problems to worry about. The bell would ring any second, and Mr. Garrison would show up and tell everyone to take their seats. Kenny sighed heavily, and waited for the bell to ring. Sure enough, a few seconds later, a high pitched noise filled the hallways and classrooms. With that, Kenny closed his eyes, held his breath, opened the door, and slowly walked into the classroom.

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**I know, I know, a cliffhanger. I didn't really know how else to end the chapter, so I ended it like this. Don't worry, the next chapter will come out soon enough. Oh, and I was wondering if any of you guys would be kind enough to check out my other story, "Relationship Rehab", review it, and send me an OC, since I'm waiting for a few. You obviously don't have to, but it would be kewl if you did. Oh, and please review this story. It means a lot, so don't be shy!**

**Also, "hyah" is supposed to mean, "here" in case you were wondering or confused.**


	3. Sadness and Relief

Before Kenny could step inside the classroom Mr. Garrison forcefully made his way in, not even noticing Kenny.

"Alright class, let's take our seats."

Kenny ran in now, hoping that the students hadn't made it to their seats yet to where he would be late, because everyone knows that when you're late, when you walk in everyone stares at you until you're at your seat. But, everyone was at their seat, therefore Kenny was late. The students, mostly the girls, since most of the boys already knew, gasped at Kenny's now revealed face.

"Wow, Kenny, looks like you finally realized that wearing that thing so tightly made you look like an idiot. But since you're late, I'm gonna have to give you detention."

"Detention? For being late? I was like, two seconds late, and the only reason I was late was because you shoved me out of the way on your way into the classroom!"

"Whatever Kenny, just report to the library when school is over for your detention." Mr. Garrison said dismissively.

Kenny just scoffed and went to his seat, but then he noticed something. Everyone-except for Cartman, who was still crying into his arms-was staring at him. Kenny became angry.

"What?! C'mon, tell me! Why are you all staring at me? C'mon, tell me!" Nobody answered, "I knew it! You all do think I'm ugly! The least you could've done was tell me!" Kenny stormed out of the classroom. Mr. Garrison just stared at the now wide open door.

"What the hell's wrong with him?" Mr. Garrison asked aloud.

"He's just…paranoid." Stan replied.

"And what the hell's wrong with him?" Mr. Garrison once again asked, now pointing at Cartman.

"You don't wanna know." Stan replied again.

"Why not?"

"…Just don't worry about it." Stan suggested, not liking where this was going.

"Look, Stan, as much as I don't wanna worry about it, it's my job to report any problems to the counselor."

Kyle perked up, "He just tripped himself up in the hallway. I guess it took too much effort to lift those fat legs high enough for him to walk without tripping himself." The class and Mr. Garrison laughed at Kyle's joke. Cartman lifted his head to make a comeback, but then he remembered what Kyle said to him before class and he just walked out the classroom.

"Eric? Eric, where are you going?" Mr. Garrison asked.

"Sc-sc-screw y-you guys, I'm g-going home." Cartman tearfully replied. As Cartman walked out the classroom and toward the front doors, he saw a sign on the door.

"Due to increased concerns about the amount of students ditching class, the South Park Elementary faculty staff has decided to lock all doors leading outside during school hours. The doors automatically unlock during an emergency. We apologize for any inconvenience. Actually, no we don't, since you kids are supposed to be in class anyway, and not reading this sign! GET BACK TO CLASS! Sincerely, the South Park faculty staff."

Cartman got angry. How was he supposed to go home with all the doors locked? He slowly accepted defeat and started back to the classroom, before he realized something. If the doors automatically unlock during an emergency…

_RING! RING! RING!_

All the students looked up at the ringing bells. They looked at each other, then cheered and ran out the school. Stan and Kyle were heading over to Stan's house when they saw Kenny, crying next to the front door of the school. They looked at each other, and then approached Kenny.

"Look, Kenny, don't be upset. No one thinks you're ugly. They were probably just surprised or something." Stan comforted him.

"How do you know that, Stan? Can you read the minds of people? That's what I thought." Kenny was about to walk away, but then he saw Cartman, sadly walking home, "What's wrong with Fatass?"

Stan and Kyle looked at each other, before Kyle spoke, "Cartman isn't our friend anymore. Well, actually he never really was, but now he really isn't."

"Why not?"

"Because he's an idiotic, ignorant, racist, manipulative, bigoted, fat piece of shit."

"So? He's always been one, but we've still hung out with him. What did he do to piss you guys off?"

Kyle thought about it a moment, "Well, nothing out of the ordinary. He called you a poor fag, and then he said that we were inferior to him, and I just snapped."

"But how'd you get him to start crying like this?"

"I don't know. I insulted him and told him to kill himself, and all the guys had my back and agreed with me. I guess that this time, my insult really got to him. Thank goodness, now we can hang out and not have to worry about that fat bitch ripping on us."

Kenny just shrugged, "Whatever. I just hope he doesn't actually kill himself." Stan and Kyle laughed and started walking to Stan's house, and Kenny started following, but he couldn't help but look over at Cartman again. Cartman looked heartbroken, and Kenny didn't know if he liked seeing Cartman like that. He thinks he actually likes the other Cartman better. He continued watching Cartman while following his two friends, and he could've sworn he saw a gun in Cartman's back pocket, but before he could run over to Cartman, he ran into someone, and fell.

"I'm sor-uh oh." Kenny shrank a little when he saw who was standing in his way. It was the girls. Kenny covered his face. Any second now the girls would start making fun of how ugly he was, and Kenny was just waiting for the verbal assault to begin. But, then it didn't come. He slowly removed his hands from his eyes, to see the girls smiling at him. But, these weren't sympathetic or friendly smiles. Oh no, these were kinda…seductive if you asked him.

"Hey Kenny." Bebe smiled at him.

Kenny got up, "Uh, hey Bebe. Hey girls."

"You uh, have any plans today? Because we were going over to the mall." Red asked.

"Well, I was going over to Stan's house with Stan and Kyle."

"Oh, okay." The girls all became sad as they slowly walked away from Kenny. Kenny thought for a second, and then made up his mind.

"Wait, girls?"

"Yeah, Kenny?" Heidi answered.

"I…guess I can hang out with you gals instead." The girls cheered at Kenny's answer.

"But…can I ask you gals something?"

"Yes, Kenny?" Bebe answered.

"Do you guys think I'm…ugly? Are you guys only inviting me to do something with you gals because I'm ugly?"

The girls looked at each other, confused by Kenny's question, "Uh, Kenny, the only reason we're inviting you is because we think you're cute, and we want to get to know you better." Bebe explained.

Kenny grinned, "Really?"

"Yes!"

"Alright then, let's go!" Kenny started following them, but then realized something, "Wait, I don't have any money. I can't buy anything."

Wendy walked over to Kenny, "It's okay Kenny, you could just tell us how we look when we're trying on outfits."

Kenny was a little annoyed by that answer, but he went with it, "Fine." He followed the girls. But then Stan and Kyle approached them.

"Hey, where're you taking Kenny?" Kyle asked the girls.

"He's coming with us to the mall. Sorry boys." Bebe and the girls started walking away, but Stan stopped Wendy.

"Wendy, how come I don't get to go to the mall with you guys? Not that I would want to, but still."

Wendy thought for a moment, "This is different, Stan. You're my boyfriend. Kenny's just, he's just cool." All the girls agreed with Kenny, and they walked away, with Kenny following.

Stan threw his hat to the ground in frustration, "Dammit! Wendy just said the same thing to me that I said to her when we started hanging out with Bebe, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Well, don't worry Stan, it's not that big a deal. Just don't become jealous like Wendy did when we started hanging out with Bebe."

"Nah, I'm not gonna get jealous, unless Kenny starts hitting on her, then I'll have to kick his ass." Stan balled his fists and became angry when he said the 2nd half of that sentence. Kyle just shrugged, and started heading toward Stan's house, and Stan started following.

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**I've realized that I'm getting more reviews and stuff on this story and not my other story, so I've decided to focus on this story instead. I'll probably rewrite my other story in story format, since I have a feeling that that's part of the problem. But I'll finish this story before I go back to that story. Anyway, make sure to review! Every review I get means a lot, so don't forget to hit that review box below this author's note!**


	4. Forgetting your own advice

**Please read my author's note at the bottom of the page after you've read this chapter, and enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

The next day Stan and Kyle stood at the bus stop. Neither Kenny nor Cartman had shown up yet. Stan noticed this and sighed.

"Dude, the bus is going to be here any minute and Kenny hasn't shown up yet…or Cartman."

Kyle continued to look ahead, "Yeah, you're right," Right on cue, however, Kenny walked up to them, "Oh, hey dude."

"Sup guys." Kenny greeted.

"How was the mall yesterday?" Stan asked.

"It was…okay. It was pretty boring though, but I guess that's what happens when you go to the mall with a group of girls when you don't have any money."

"So…what did you guys do?"

"I don't know, we just went around and the girls tried on and bought lots of clothes, but Bebe was nice enough to buy me some clothes."

"Bebe?" Kyle asked, surprised.

"Yeah, she and Wendy were done shopping but Heidi and Red were still shopping so they decided to buy me some stuff." Kenny gestured to his new T-shirt that Wendy and Bebe bought him, "It's a Broncos shirt! Pretty cool huh? They also got me a new jacket." Kenny pulled a jacket out of his backpack. It was orange with a blue collar, and it looked like Stan's jacket.

"So our girlfriends bought you stuff?" Stan asked.

"Pretty much. Bebe also bought me some food, so I wouldn't have a crappy dinner."

Kyle was now glaring at Kenny but Kenny didn't notice this, since he was admiring his new clothes. Cartman walked up a few seconds later.

"Sup guys?" Cartman greeted, being careful not to insult anyone, since he was on their bad sides, "Oh Kinny, you bought some new stuff I see."

"Yeah dude, it's pretty sweet huh?" Kenny replied.

"You got a new jacket? Why didn't you get a parka, if you had the money for a new jacket?"

"The girls said I shouldn't hide my face, so I got this. I wanted to keep wearing something orange though, so I got this." Kenny continued. Kyle was annoyed by this.

"Oh that's kewl…wait, the girls? What were you doing with the girls?"

"They thought I was cute so they invited me to spend the day with them. They're really nice." Kenny replied. Kyle had had enough, and spoke up.

"Kenny, can I talk to you for a sec…over there?" Kyle gestured to the trees on the other side of the sign.

"Sure." Kenny followed Kyle. Cartman watched Stan carefully, and then spoke up.

"So, Stan…what's goin' on? You doing well?"

"Cartman, don't even try. We're not gonna become cool with you again so don't even bother trying." Stan responded. Cartman sighed, and became quiet.

Kyle reached the spot he wanted to talk to Kenny at, "Kenny, why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"Why are you being nice to Cartman, didn't we tell you at school yesterday that we were going to stop hanging out with him?"

"Dude, c'mon, why are you letting Fatass get to you? It's not like he said anything awful yesterday, he just said something that he usually says."

"I don't care, I'm sick of it, and so is everyone else. The only person who is probably still going to hang out with Cartman is Butters. Butters for crying out loud!"

"…Kyle, don't you feel like you're becoming a dick?"

"What?"

"Dude, the stuff you said to Cartman hurt him, just look at him," Kenny gestured to Cartman, who was standing sadly with a blank-faced Stan standing near him, "Just let it go, it's not like we're going to be stuck with him forever. When we grow up we'll just go our separate ways, and Cartman will be out of your life forever."

Kyle sighed, "No Kenny, this is what happened last time we stopped hanging out with him. He pretended to act like a new man, but when we allowed him to hang out with us again he went back to his old ways. I'm sick of him and so is everyone else, but if you wanna continue to hang out then go ahead."

Kenny sighed, "Fine, Kyle, I'll stop being cool to him." Kyle smiled at Kenny's response and they walked back to where Stan and Cartman were, except now Stan and Cartman were arguing.

"Why do you think we stopped hanging out with you, Fatass? You're a dick!" Stan exclaimed.

"I've said sorry like, 10 times!" Cartman retorted.

"No you haven't, you haven't even said sorry once, to any of us!" Stan corrected.

"Ok ok I'm sorry Stan! Jeez, why are you guys acting like this is such a big deal?"

"Because it is dude! And it'll take more than a sorry to make us hang out with you again!" Stan said.

"Fine, fuck you guys than! I don't need you fags to be happy!"

"You were looking pretty miserable without us yesterday." Kenny stated.

"Aye! Screw you, Kinny!" The bus pulled up and the boys got on. However, before Kenny could make it to his usual seat, someone called him.

"Kenny! Hey, Kenny? You wanna sit with me?" Bebe patted the spot next to her. Kenny thought about it a second and sat next to Bebe.

"Cartman's being a dick anyway, so why not?" Kenny smiled at Bebe.

"I see you're wearing some of the clothes we bought you yesterday."

"Yeah, thanks for buying them for me."

"No problem, you needed to get out of that lame parka anyway! Why did you wear that thing, anyway? If you didn't, you could have been first on our list that rated the boys' looks." Bebe winced after she mentioned the list.

"I don't know…Bebe, are you okay?" Kenny noticed Bebe wincing.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just…that list about the boys brings back bad memories."

"Well, you said it, not me."

"I know, so why did you wear that parka again?"

"I don't know, I thought you guys would think I was ugly or something." Kenny shrugged.

"Kenny, you're not ugly, you're cute, you just needed to get some shampoo into that hair, which is why we bought you a couple bottles."

"Yeah, I guess." Kenny replied. Bebe smiled at him, and Kenny smiled back. A few seats back however sat a very unhappy Kyle.

"Dude! Kenny's hitting on my girlfriend!" Kyle exclaimed. Stan chuckled, "What's so funny, Stan?"

"Nothing, it's just…yesterday I was worried about Kenny hitting on my girlfriend and you were comforting me but now that Kenny's talking to your girlfriend you've forgotten your own advice."

The bus pulled up to the school and everyone got off. Kyle followed Stan, and Cartman was trailing.

Stan continued talking to Kyle as they walked into the school, "Besides, Bebe's one of those girls that just kinda jumps from guy to guy, she liked you, and then left you for Clyde, and then left Clyde for you again, and now maybe she likes Kenny. Don't be upset about it."

Kyle glared at Stan, "Thanks for making me feel better, Stan." Kyle said sarcastically. Stan didn't pick up on his sarcasm, however, because he just smiled at Kyle.

"No problem man." Stan patted Kyle on the back and went to his locker. Kyle noticed Cartman walking behind him, and sped up to get away from him. Cartman sighed.

"Why is everyone so uptight?" Cartman asked himself. He then stopped and thought for a second, "Wait a second…Kinny said the girls were nice to him, maybe they'll let me hang out with them!" Cartman then started running to find the girls.

"Ok class, now today we're going to talk about the movie _Sex Tape_ and more specifically, why Cameron Diaz should stop participating in these kinds of movies," Mr. Garrison said as class began. The class groaned in response, "And then we'll do some math problems after lunch and recess." The class groaned again.

The class began taking notes on _Sex Tape_ but a few kids weren't paying attention. Cartman was too busy thinking about how he would get the girls to let him hang out with them, Kyle was too busy thinking about how he would get Kenny to back off of Bebe, Kenny was too busy thinking about his new clothes, Bebe was too busy admiring herself in her little mirror she hid in her binder, and Clyde was too busy playing on his phone. Class (if you wanted to call it that) ended later and all the kids headed off to lunch.

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**PLEASE REVIEW! Like I say in every author's note, every review I get means a lot, so don't be shy!**

**Okay, so a few things I need to tell you guys. First, I've decided to discontinue Relationship Rehab. I'll go back and rewrite it in story format, so if you like that story, don't worry, but don't expect anymore updates on that story. Second, I hope I'm not making anyone OOC, because that's the last thing I want to do, since I try to make my stories as realistic as possible. Third, updates on this story are going to slow down from here on out, since there are other things I have to focus on at the moment, so don't expect an update on this story every day anymore. Last of all, I have not seen Sex Tape, I don't plan on seeing Sex Tape, and I honestly don't give two shits about Cameron Diaz, but I figured that that was something Mr. Garrison might teach the class, so if you're a Cameron Diaz or Sex Tape fan, don't be offended. Thanks for reading!**


	5. Only for a couple days

Mr. Garrison's class was now at lunch, and Clyde, Token, Jimmy, Craig, Stan, Craig, Kyle, and Kenny were talking about what they were going to do after school. Well, everyone except for Kenny, who was staring at the girls. Particularly one girl with a red jacket and blonde hair. Kenny didn't know why he was staring at her, but whenever he tried to join in the guys' conversation, he found himself looking at Bebe again. He's never really cared for Bebe that much, in fact he's never really cared for any of the girls in his class, since none of them had big boobs. He understood _why _they didn't have big boobs, since they were only in 4th grade, but he still didn't like them. In fact, that's the biggest reason he dated Tammy anyway. She had bigger boobs than the 4th grade girls, and she was actually poorer than him! But after she gave him syphilis, he decided to stay away from her. But something about Bebe…it wasn't the boobs, since the other girls had developed a little bit as well, maybe it was…he honestly didn't know. However, before he could continue figuring out what it was, he was snapped out of his thoughts.

"Kenny!"

"What! Is the school on fire? Oh no, not again!" Kenny looked around frantically before realizing that it was just an angry-looking Kyle, "Oh, yeah Kyle?"

"What are you looking at?" Kyle asked.

"Oh, just B-I mean the wall." Kenny answered. He almost slipped up and said Bebe, but he caught himself.

"Dude, why are you looking at the wall?" Stan asked.

"Because it has that poster on it." Kenny pointed to a poster that read _ATTENTION ALL STUDENTS! IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN JOINING OUR GARDENING CLUB, PLEASE CONTACT MS. BUTOXS FOR MORE INFORMATION. REMEMBER, GARDENING IS IMPORTANT. KIND OF._

"You're going to join the gardening club?" Craig asked.

"No, I just like the…colors of the poster."

The boys gave Kenny quizzical looks as the bell rang for recess. Everyone got up and went to either their lockers or to the playground. But Kyle stopped Kenny as they reached the doors.

"Kenny, we need to talk."

"Again? Kyle, I haven't been hanging out with Cartman. I haven't said a word to him since we reached the school."

"No, not that. I'm talking about your sudden attraction to Bebe." Kenny paled a little after Kyle finished talking. This wasn't going to be good.

"W-what attraction? I-I haven't taken an attraction to her. She's a bitch." Kenny winced as he said 'bitch'.

"First of all, don't call Bebe a bitch. Second of all, don't lie to me. I know what you were looking at at lunch. You were looking at Bebe."

"N-no I wasn't!"

"Stop lying to me Kenny! Look dude, I'm glad Bebe bought you some stuff, but don't start liking her just because of that. She's my girlfriend."

Kenny looked down, "Don't worry Kyle, I won't."

Kyle watched Kenny for a little while before walking toward the playground. Kenny was about to follow, but was pushed down by Cartman, who was running toward the playground to find the girls.

"Where are they? Where are they? There they are!" Cartman started walking toward Wendy, Bebe, Red, and Lola. They were giggling about something, but stopped when Cartman approached them, with his hat off.

"What do you want?" Bebe bitterly asked.

"C-can I talk to you guys?" Cartman asked. He didn't know why, but he was really nervous.

"Sure." Red said, and Cartman smiled a little. It seemed like Red was the only girl who didn't despise Cartman, even though she wasn't overly nice to him either.

"So, the guys have been total douches to me lately, and they won't let me hang out with them, so I was wondering if," Cartman squeezed his eyes shut, "I can hang out with you guys?" He felt like he was going to regret this.

"Hang out with us? Why?" Red asked.

"I can't be alone! I'll look like a loser! Hanging out with girls is better than nothing." Cartman explained.

"Well we don't wanna hang out with stupid boys! Especially you!" Lola spat.

"Yeah! Why don't you go cry under the oak tree?" Bebe added.

"I think the boys did the right thing by kicking you out of their circle." Wendy added.

Red glared at her friends, "Can I talk to you guys?" She led her three friends away from an angry-looking Cartman.

"What's wrong with you guys?" Red asked.

"Red, he's an asshole! You can't possibly be thinking about letting him hang out with us." Wendy said.

"So? What makes him worse than the rest of the boys?"

"He's fatter than them." Wendy said.

"Meaner, too." Bebe added.

"He has no respect for girls!" Lola said.

"Well I don't see that in him." Red crossed her arms and looked away, "All the boys are kinda stupid. He's just…a little meaner than the rest of them. That's all."

Wendy, Bebe, and Lola looked at each other. Red was kinda right. All the boys are stupid one way or another. They simultaneously sighed.

"Alright Red, we'll let him hang out with us. But only for a couple days." Wendy conceded.

The four girls walked back up to Cartman, who was now stone-faced.

"Alright Cartman, you can hang out with us. But only for a couple days." Lola said.

Cartman smiled, and as the girls went back to what they were talking about, Cartman pulled out a pencil and notepad and begun taking notes on the stuff the girls were interested in. Stan, Craig, and Token noticed this, and were watching Cartman and the girls with confused looks. Kyle walked up to them.

"Guys, there's only about twenty minutes left in recess and we haven't even started the football game," Kyle noticed that the boys were just staring ahead, "What are you guys looking at?"

"The girls…they let Cartman hang out with them." Stan muttered.

"They actually let him join them." Token said.

"I can't believe it." Craig said.

"Why do you guys care?" Kyle asked. He was clearly annoyed at how much interest Stan, Craig, and Token took into this.

"Dude, just think about it for a second. The girls…added…_Cartman_…to their group." Stan said.

"…Why do you guys care?" Kyle once again asked, raising his voice.

"Why would the girls accept Cartman into their group unless…unless…Cartman has changed?"

"Oh no you don't! This is what happened last time. Cartman did something that surprised us, so we let him back into our group just to find out that he hadn't changed a damn bit."

"Well dude, you have to wonder how Cartman got the girls to hang out with him."

"He probably just bribed them or something! Girls will do lots of things for money, don't you guys know that? All you have to do is wave a fifty dollar bill in their face and they'll easily do what you want. You wanna know why? So that once they get that money, they can buy another overpriced pair of shoes to show off to their friends."

The other three boys looked at each other, and then Craig spoke, "I don't know Kyle, where would Cartman find the money."

"He probably just lied to them and offered them money he doesn't have, or he just stole it from his mom's purse. All you have to do is just offer them the money, and they'll do anything."

"Kyle, I think you're starting to sound like Cartman." Stan said.

"What?! I do not sound like Cartman!"

"You kinda do." Token said.

Kyle just scoffed and walked back to the other boys. Stan, Craig, and Token watched Cartman and the girls a little longer, than joined the guys in the football game.

Later that night, Cartman was sitting back in his chair, with his arms behind his head, looking up at his ceiling, smiling. The guys thought they could kick him out of their group? Well, he now had chick friends, and everyone knows that chick friends are worth three times as much as guy friends. But then he frowned. The girls said he could only hang out with them for a couple of days. What would he do then? It's not like the guys are just going to accept him back, and he will not become a loner. Maybe the 5th graders? No, they would never let a fourth grader hang out with them. Maybe the 3rd graders? No, that would be way too embarrassing. What 4th grader actually hangs out with 3rd graders? Or 2nd graders? Or 1st, or kindergarten, or pre-school, or daycare…

He knew there was no hope of becoming kewl with the guys again, so his only hope was to convince the girls of letting him become friends with them longer. But they probably wouldn't just say yes. He's going to have to prove himself to them. But how is he going to do that? He sat up straight as an idea popped into his head. He grabbed a pencil and paper and started writing his plan down. Yes, this was perfect...

Kenny was laying in his bed wearing his new pajamas that Bebe bought for him when they went to the mall the other day. Whenever he looked at or felt his pajamas he couldn't help but think of her. She was just so nice to him, why would she be so nice to him? It's not like she owed him anything, and they've rarely ever spoken to each other before they went to the mall with the other girls. He continued to think of her as he tried to go to sleep. More importantly, he thought of how he was going to get her to be his…girlfriend. In order to do that, he would have to think of a way to get her and Kyle separated. An evil look broke out on his face as several ideas entered his mind. He decided which one he was going to use, and then he rolled on his side and went to sleep.

* * *

**Hey guys, sorry I haven't updated in over a week. Like I said, I've been busy with some other things, so I couldn't find the time to write a chapter. And unfortunately the speed of updates won't become faster either, since I have to go back to school in a few days. I hope I'll be able to get out another chapter before school arrives, but I dunno. Also, for anyone who's confused, I'm NOT discontinuing Relationship Rehab forever. I'm only discontinuing it for a while. I feel like this story is getting more attention so I wanna finish this one first. I'll re-write RR in story format after I've finished this story, and then I'll finish RR. So if you were enjoying that story, don't be worried. **

**Anyway, please review! Remember, every review means a lot to me, so don't be scared! Wait, did I say scared? I meant shy. I guess it doesn't matter that much does it? **


	6. Plans are in motion

Kenny rubbed his knuckles together similar to the way Butters did when he was nervous. Kenny knew that this could go one of two ways. It might work out perfectly and he'll be with Bebe very soon OR this may fall on his face and Bebe would hate him and Kyle would be pissed at him. But he had to do it. He had to.

Kenny approached Mr. Garrison's classroom and laid his hand on the doorknob. He was about to turn it when he stopped. He couldn't help but feel a little guilty about all of this. Even if his plan did work, someone would still end up heartbroken. And that someone would be Kyle. Kenny looked at the classroom door again. Either he could walk in and set his plan into motion, or walk away and not hurt his friend. With a small tear in his eye, he chose to walked in.

"Mr. Garrison?" Kenny said as he walked in. Mr. Garrison had to arrive at school early that morning to finish grading papers, so Kenny arrived early too, so it could just be the two of them.

"Kenny? What the hell are you doing here?"

"You know that project we're starting today? Is it okay if you…p-partner me up with…Bebe?"

Mr. Garrison raised an eyebrow, "Why?" He asked slowly.

"Because I…I…don't want to work with anyone else." Kenny lied.

"Kenny, I can't just put you two together. I already planned to have you work with Red."

"Red? But she's Cartman's bitch, not mine!"

"What?"

Kenny realized what he said and quickly changed his answer, "I mean…she doesn't like me. We'll not do well on the project. B-but Bebe and I are good friends." Kenny didn't know why he was stuttering, but he needed to stop. So he took a deep breath and continued, "Besides, this is a girl-boy project, am I right?"

Mr. Garrison sighed, "Alright fine. Whatever Kenny, you can work with Bebe. I'll just have Red work with Cartman," Mr. Garrison made the changes on the sheet of paper with all the groups on it, "Now go away. Principal Victoria is on my ass about doing a better job of grading papers and getting them back to you guys quicker."

Kenny happily obliged, jumping off the seat and walking out the classroom. But, as he walked to the playground (he'll have it all to himself, since very few other kids were there) the feeling of guilt returned. But what could he do? Should he let Kyle be happy or try to make himself happy? Sometimes, you just had to put yourself before others. With this thought in mind, Kenny started playing on the slides as more students arrived at school.

* * *

Cartman stared at himself at the mirror. He was not proud of who was staring at himself in the mirror, but he had no choice. He noticed how Kyle started getting bitches when they found out he was gay (Kyle could thank Cartman later) and now it was time for himself to do the same. Become a fag, try to do as many girly things as possible without looking like a straight up transgender or something, and have the girls become his friend for good. But at the same time, he felt like he was making a big mistake. If he went through with this, the guys would never, ever want to be seen anywhere near him again. But there was no guarantee the guys would want to hang out with him ever again anyway. But then again, there was no guarantee that doing what he was doing would get the girls to like him either.

Cartman sat on his bed and sighed. What could he do? He was not comfortable with what he was doing, but he can't be a loner. Loners aren't kewl. And he's kewl. Right?

* * *

Stan and Kyle stood at the bus stop blank-faced as usual. That was until a certain fat boy walked up to them. They just gaped at the new (or maybe not so new, since they've been down this road before), gay Cartman. **(A/N: For any of you wondering what Cartman's wearing, he's just wearing the same stuff he was wearing in the "South Park Is Gay" episode.)**

"Cartman, what the fuck?!" Kyle gaped.

"Yeah dude, you look like…a fag." Stan stated.

"Thanks!" Cartman said in the gayest way possible. Stan and Kyle just looked at each other.

"Dude, why are you doing this?" Stan asked.

"Because guys, you ditched me as a friend, so I've become friends with the girls."

"So you decided to dress like a gay dude to become friends with them?"

"Yes, Stan, yes I did. Girls love gay guys, isn't that right Kahl?"

Kyle looked at Cartman with confusion plastered over his face. Then, as what Cartman was saying dawned on him, he glared at Cartman, "Shut up fatass! That was your fault!"

"I know it was. That's why you should be thanking me." Cartman calmly said.

"Thanking you?! For getting everyone to think that we were gay for each other?!"

"Yes Kahl. You got a girlfriend out of it, didn't you?"

Kyle was about to retort but stopped at the thought of Bebe. Cartman was kinda right. Kyle being gay got him a little closer to Bebe, along with all the other girls, and before everyone in the school realized Kyle wasn't gay, Kyle quickly asked Bebe out. Since the girls were still infatuated with him, Bebe said yes, even though she was confused as to why he would ask her out, since he was supposed to be gay. After everyone found out Kyle wasn't gay, Kyle thought Bebe would break up with him, but she didn't. And even though Annie Nelson was the hottest girl at the school (in his eyes) Bebe was very beautiful in her own way (Her own, photoshopped way).

"Alright Cartman, you're right. You indirectly got me and Bebe together, so I'll just back off."

"Oh no no no Kahl, you owe me something for that. Five bucks would be suffice." Cartman held out his right hand expectantly.

"Shut up, fatass! I don't owe you shit! Isn't a 'thanks' enough for you?"

Before Cartman could reply, the bus pulled up. Cartman watched as Kyle and Stan got on, and decided he wouldn't get on the bus. He wanted people to notice him when he walked into the school. What did people call it? Being fashionably late or something? Cartman smiled as he started walking to school. Yeah, he's gonna be _fashionably late_.

* * *

**What's up everyone? Enjoying the story so far? Sorry if this ending seems like kind of a cliffhanger to you. There are lots of questions to be answered, isn't there? How will this little love triangle between Kyle, Bebe, and Kenny work out? Will Cartman be accepted or shunned by the girls? And will Clyde ever stop playing on his phone during class? All but one of these questions shall be answered in the near future, so stay tuned!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Remember, every review means a lot, so don't be shy!**


	7. Kenny's 2nd dilemma

Kyle was smiling as he headed to class. He and his friends weren't going on any wacky adventure, nothing personal was going on in his life, and most importantly, Cartman was no longer a part of the gang. Yep, life was pretty good for the Jew. This is what it must have felt like to be a kid in another part of the country. No crazy adventures or anything like that, just a nice, simple life. He closed his locker and walked into the classroom. Everyone was already there, except for Cartman, which made Kyle smile even more. He took his seat next to his best friends, Stan and Kenny, and looked ahead, patiently waiting for Mr. Garrison. He quickly took a glance at his best friends, seeing if he could strike up a conversation, but Stan was too busy finishing his homework that he clearly didn't do the night before, and Kenny was…wait, what _was _up with Kenny? He looked…nervous.

"Dude, you okay?" Kyle asked Kenny. Kenny let go of his thoughts and frantically looked around the room.

"What? Is the school on fire? Oh God, Oh Jesus! Not again!" Kenny covered his head, expecting to be burned to death…again.

"No dude, it's just me." Kyle calmly replied.

"Oh…h-hey Kyle."

"Dude, you look nervous. Is something wrong?"

Kenny just stared at Kyle. Kyle thought he was gonna say no, but Kenny eventually shook his head.

"Nah dude, everything's…okay." Kenny looked away from Kyle. Kyle raised an eyebrow. This was one of the signs of a liar. Either they look away, rub their neck, or pull on their ear.

"Why are you looking away from me then?"

"Oh, uh…no reason." Kenny was rubbing his neck now.

"Kenny, why are you lying to me? You know I'm here for you, right?"

"I-I'm not lying! What makes you think I'm lying?" Kenny was now talking fast and sweating.

"Dude, you are one shitty liar. But fine, if you don't wanna tell me, that's cool. Just know I'm here for you if you wanna talk." Kyle said. Even though Kyle said this calmly, Kenny snapped as if Kyle kept egging him on to spill the beans.

"Jesus Christ, Kyle, can you just back off?! Just leave me the fuck alone!" Kenny screamed. Mr. Garrison had just walked into the room, and just gaped at Kenny's outburst along with the rest of the class. Before anyone could say anything however, Cartman came strolling in, expecting every to look at him. But, everyone just continued to stare at an angry Kenny.

"K-Kenny?" Kyle quietly asked. He was clearly hurt by Kenny's outburst at him. Kenny just looked at the ground, ashamed of himself.

Cartman noticed what was going on and tried to clear his throat to get everyone's attention. But everyone either ignored him, or glanced at him before turning away. Cartman cleared his throat again, this time louder. He got the same results. Cartman tried one last time, and everyone looked at him, brightening him up, but either they gave him annoyed glances or they just shrugged and turned away. Cartman became enraged.

"Just what the fuck is going on?! You guys are supposed to be gaping at ME, not Jewboy and The Poor Kid! LOOK AT ME!"

Mr. Garrison finally came to his senses and began to speak, "Uh, Kenny, I think you should go to the counselor. And Eric," he glared at Cartman, "You need to get your ass down to the principal." Kenny obliged and slowly walked out the classroom, while Cartman scoffed.

"Well?! Do you assholes notice anything different about me?!" Cartman yelled to his classmates.

"Yeah, you look like a faggot. What else is new?" Craig droned. The class chuckled at Craig's response, and Cartman just screamed in defeat and stormed out the classroom.

* * *

Kenny sat silently as he received a lecture from Mr. Mackey, "And that's why cursing at your classmates is bad, m'kay? When you yell at your classmates, m'kay, that hurts their feelings, m'kay? Yelling at someone is bullying, m'kay? And you know how serious bullying is, m'kay?"

Kenny just looked at Mr. Mackey with tearful eyes, "I don't what to do Mr. Mackey. I'm great friends with Kyle, but I think I'm starting to like his bitch, Bebe."

"M'kay, and why have you developed feelings for…for Bebe?"

"I don't know. First she bought me all the clothes and food, and then she invited me to sit next to her on the bus, and she even invited me to sit with her and her friends at lunch, but I declined. I don't know if she just feels sorry for me because I'm poor, or if she likes me or something, but it's really annoying, and I'm so fucking sick of it!" Kenny's sadness quickly turned into anger as he went into a rage. He flipped over the chair he was sitting in, then he threw the chair at the wall and knocked some photos down. Mr. Mackey tried to calm him down, but Kenny just ignored him and ran to Mr. Mackey's desk, and sent everything on his desk to the floor. Kenny continued to destroy everything he could, until he eventually stopped to catch his breath. Mr. Mackey gaped at Kenny's episode, and then went over to the principal's office. An angry Cartman was leaving just as Mr. Mackey walked in.

"Principal Victoria, we have a problem."

"What's that, Mr. Mackey?"

"Kenny McCormick has gone batshit insane, and I honestly don't know what to do to help him, m'kay?"

"Why has he gone crazy?"

"It's because he's attracted to one of his best friend's girlfriends."

Principal Victoria stood up, "Let me talk to him." She walked over to Mr. Mackey's now destroyed office and found Kenny sulking in the chair.

"Kenny, Principal Victoria's here to talk to you, m'kay?"

"I just want go back to class, okay?" Kenny said.

"But Kenny, your mental state is very unstable, and it would be very unsafe to let you go back, m'kay?"

"Look, I'll figure it out, and if I fuck up again, you guys can have your talk with me, okay?"

Principal Victoria sighed, "Fine Kenny. But we'll hold you to that," Principal Victoria began to leave, but came back, "And you're going to have to clean all this up after school, okay Kenny?"

Kenny sighed as he left, "Fine, whatever."

When Kenny made it back to class, Mr. Garrison was just about to assign the partners for the project.

"Oh, there you are Kenny. We were just about to go on without you."

"Yeah well I'm here, so you can continue."

"Okay students, let's just get this over with. You will be working in groups of two and creating a gay little poster about why science is important in our lives. The poster is for pictures of why science is important, and you will also write a report a minimum of two pages long explaining why science is important, okay? Or do you little bastards need me to explain further?"

The class blankly stared at Mr. Garrison. Cartman then raised his hand.

"Are we choosing our partners?"

"No, Eric, I'm assigning them to you, so that you don't pick one of your best buddies and forget about the project because you're too busy socializing or something. The groups will be boy-girl, so that you guys actually work, and not do any other stuff. Now, the groups are as follows: Eric and Red, Stan and Heidi, Kyle and Lola, Kenny and Bebe, Clyde and Wendy, Craig and Powder, Token and Jenny, Butters and Nichole, Jimmy and Lisa, and Timmy and Riley. Any questions?"

The class once again stared back at Mr. Garrison.

"Alright then, get to work."

Kenny pushed his desk over to Bebe and smiled at her. She smiled back, and Kenny immediately knew that this was going to be a long project.

* * *

**Two chapters today for you guys! Sorry if the story's gotten a little boring lately, but stay with me, the story will get more exciting. All stories has its boring parts, right? Anyway, thanks for reading!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Remember, every review means a lot to me, so don't be shy!**

**P.S. sorry for any grammatical errors, I type pretty quick and I'm tired, so I don't feel like reading over it again.**


	8. You

"Alright Kenny, why do you think science is important in our lives? Kenny?" Bebe looked at Kenny to find him practically drooling at something. And that something was very close to her. Or maybe it was her. Bebe didn't think about it too much and began snapping in Kenny's face.

"Huh? Is the school burning down? Oh no, this is like the 10th time!" Kenny, for what seemed like the 3rd time in the last few days, protected himself from nonexistent danger.

"No, Kenny, it's just me. I just asked you a question. Why do you think science is important in our lives?"

"I don't know. I guess it saves lives, and, stuff."

Bebe sighed, "Kenny, come on. We're almost twenty minutes into class and we still haven't even begun our paper. How about this, why don't you do the paper and I do the poster? Does that work?"

"What?! No, the paper is ten times harder to do than the poster!" Kenny complained.

"Fine, why don't I come over to your house and we can to the paper and the poster there?"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea, since you know, I'm poor as shit. Why don't we go over to your house instead?"

"Fine, Kenny, we'll go to my house."

"Sweet."

Class continued on as everyone worked on their paper and poster. Cartman and Red, however, were having a tough time.

"You can't do just one thing?! Are you THAT lazy?!" Red exclaimed.

"Why can't I just print out a couple pics and you do the rest?" Cartman asked.

"Because, Cartman, this is our project, not just mine. Now, you're going to help me, or I'm telling Mr. Garrison that you did nothing!"

"Fine! What do you need help with?"

"I need you to do some research. Look up some ways that science contributes to the well being of our lives."

"Whatever."

"Oh, and Cartman?"

"What?"

"Why are you wearing that silly outfit?"

"Because, I'm a fashionista." Cartman said this proudly.

Red giggled, "Okay then…"

"What? Is something wrong?"

"No, no, it's just kinda…cute, I guess."

Cartman smiled, "Well, I'm glad you think so. Do you think the other girls will like my outfit?"

"I dunno. Maybe."

The bell rang before Eric and Red could continue their conversation. Everyone got up and started walking to lunch. Kyle approached Bebe.

"Hey, Bebe. You wanna go somewhere after school?"

Bebe bit her lip, "Oh Kyle, right, I can't."

Kyle looked disappointed, "Oh, well that's okay. Why can't we hang out though?"

"Because I'm going to Kenny's house."

Kyle frowned. What was she doing going there? "Why…?" Kyle asked slowly.

"Because, silly, Kenny and I are going to work on the science project." Bebe rolled her eyes.

"Oh, right. Alright then, I guess we can hang out some other time." Kyle walked away.

Stan was waiting for his best friend, "Hey dude. What's up? You look sad."

Kyle shrugged, "Nah, I'm good, I just asked B if she wanted to do anything after school, but she's going to _Kenny's _house to work on the project." Kyle said Kenny's name bitterly.

Stan noticed his and patted his best friend on the back, "It's ok, Kyle, don't worry."

Kyle sighed, "I'm not worrying. It's just…seems like Bebe and I aren't really hanging out anymore."

Stan shrugged, "Then just take her out tomorrow or something."

"I guess. Since Bebe's gonna be with Kenny, do you wanna hang out after school?"

Stan winced, "Oooh. Sorry Kyle, I can't. Wendy and I are going to get some ice cream."

Kyle sighed, "Alright dude, whatever." Kyle walked into the cafeteria with his head down. Stan sighed and followed Kyle.

After school, Kenny and Bebe were in Bebe's room working on the project. Kenny was on the computer, while Bebe was gluing pictures down onto the poster. Kenny stretched and printed out another picture. Then he walked over to Bebe and gave it to her. Bebe smiled and grabbed the picture.

"Thanks Kenny."

"No problem." Kenny then started shuffling his feet on the floor. Bebe noticed this.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I was just wondering," Kenny sighed, "Bebe, do you like Kyle? Like, _like _like him?"

Bebe raised an eyebrow, "Um, why do you care?"

Kenny thought of a lie, "Well, you haven't been hanging out with Kyle much lately so he's…uh…getting worried."

Bebe gasped, "Really?"

Kenny rubbed his neck, "Yeah." He quickly realized what he was doing and stopped.

"Bebe sighed, "You know, I actually…don't think I like Kyle anymore," Bebe looked down at the poster, "I actually think I like someone else."

Kenny frowned. So he did all this work for nothing? Now he's gonna have to find a way to get Bebe to stop liking that kid, too. Why does this have to be so damn hard?

"So who do you like now?" Kenny grumbled.

"Well…I kinda like…you."

* * *

**Dayuuuuuuuum! Bebe laying down the heavy shit, haha! Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Sorry it was kinda short, but I thought that that was the perfect way to end the chapter. I already have my next story idea as well, so I'm gonna to try to finish ASAP. So stay tuned.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Remember, every review means a lot, so don't be shy!**


	9. Just go our separate ways

Kenny just stood there in absolute shock. Here he was, with his new crush confessing her feelings for him before his eyes, and he was just shocked. He should have been hugging her, kissing her, running around the room, or state, or country, or world, out of happiness. But all he could do was stand there.

"A-are you serious?" Was all Kenny could muster.

"I know, it's ridiculous. Let's just forget that I said that, okay? I don't know what I was thinking." Bebe glued down the picture she was holding.

Kenny came to his senses, "No, no, it's not ridiculous. I like you too. I just feel bad for Kyle."

Bebe gave a sad smile, "It's okay, I'll figure something out," Bebe then gave a happy smile, "So you mean it? You really like me?"

Kenny nodded in reply.

Bebe got up and walked over to Kenny. She leaned in close to him and whispered, "So you do like this?" She then placed her lips on Kenny's.

Kenny was a little surprised at first but he calmed down and got into it. He couldn't help but think of Kyle. That poor kid is going to be heartbroken. And he's not going to be upset about the fact that Bebe left him. He's told his friends lots of times that he doesn't really care if a girlfriend breaks up with him, since they're only in elementary school anyway. He's going to be upset about the fact that Bebe left him for one of his best friends. And that's going to piss him off. Bebe and Kenny began to make out, with Bebe pushing Kenny onto the wall. Kenny quickly fought back, and both of them ended up on the floor, right next to the poster. They continued their heated exchange.

_Yeah, Kyle's going to hate me, _Kenny thought, _But I don't really care right now._

Kyle stood at the bus stop the next day all alone. Cartman wasn't riding the bus to school anymore, and Stan had a dentist's appointment, so he was going to be arriving to school late. Kyle waited on Kenny. He hadn't heard anything about Kenny not riding the bus, but the bus would be here soon, and Kenny still hadn't arrived. Kyle sighed and put his blank face back on. He then heard some footsteps becoming louder and louder and turned to his left. Kenny was approaching him. And Kenny looked REALLY troubled if you asked him.

"Are you okay Kenny?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah, I'm good, Kyle," Kenny fought the urge to rub the back of his head, "Where's Stan and Cartman?"

"Stan has a dentist's appointment, and Fatass isn't riding the bus anymore. He's going to walk to school every day. Guess he's finally trying to lose some weight." Kyle smiled at his joke, expecting Kenny to start cracking up, but frowned when all Kenny did was look at the ground with sadness plastered over his face. His expression almost looked like…guilt.

_But what would he be guilty about? _Kyle thought.

"Kenny, what's wrong? You've been looking miserable for a couple days now."

"Nothing Kyle, just don't worry about it." Kenny said sternly, clearly suggesting that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

Kyle sighed. He needed to cheer Kenny up somehow. He figured this would be the best time to show Kenny his new present.

"Fine dude, whatever. But I'm here for you if you ever wanna talk, got it?"

Kenny muttered something Kyle couldn't make out.

"Well anyway dude, I got you something." Kyle smiled.

Kenny was taken aback, "W-what did you get me?"

Kyle pulled out a package with a bow on it and gave it to Kenny. Kenny slowly opened it, and pulled out a brand new parka, which looked the exact same as his old one.

"A…a parka?"

"Yeah dude!" Kyle smiled cheerily, but frowned when all Kenny did was stare at the parka, "Well dude…put it on."

Kenny obliged, but didn't put the hood up. Kyle frowned.

"Why do you have the hood down? Aren't you gonna put it up?"

"I don't want to put it up." Kenny quietly, almost inaudibly, muttered.

"Ok dude, that's fine, you can leave it down, but on one condition."

Kenny raised an eyebrow, "What 'condition'?"

"You have to tell me why you're so upset."

Kenny was practically tearing up at this point. He's never felt so bad in his life. He thought of a lie.

"My…my favorite uncle died."

Kyle gasped a little, "Really? Uncle Tommy?"

Kenny nodded, even though Uncle Tommy was still as healthy as they could get.

Kyle approached Kenny and patted him on the back, "I'm sorry to hear that dude. Uncle Tommy was pretty cool, at least when I met him he was. He even gave me some candy." Kyle smiled at the memory, "I'm sorry dude. But it's gonna be okay. Everyone dies at one point or another."

The bus pulled up and Kyle and Kenny got on. Luckily for Kenny, Bebe wasn't on the bus, but he knew that it was of little use to be happy. Kyle would find out one way or another, whether Bebe told him or Kenny did. Bebe would break up with Kyle, and then Kyle would see Bebe and Kenny together, and then he would put two and two together, and realize just what was going on. Kenny sat next to Kyle and the bus pulled off.

"Kyle…can I ask you something? And you have to promise me you won't take this the wrong way."

Kyle raised an eyebrow at the last part, but he didn't let it get to him, "Sure, dude, you can ask me anything."

Kenny briefly smirked at that. He would have to remember to ask Kyle the most embarrassing question when he got a chance. But that wasn't important right now.

"Do you still like Bebe? _Like_ like her?" Kenny asked.

Kyle frowned. _That_ was a weird question, "Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's just elementary school, so I can't say I love her or something, but sure, I _like _like her. Why'd you want to know?"

Kenny didn't answer Kyle's question. Kyle waited for an answer, but decided to look out the window once he realized he wasn't going to get one. They eventually reached the school, and saw Cartman standing there waiting for them. Or, at least they thought that he was waiting for them. But he was actually waiting for Red and Heidi. Kyle raised an eyebrow. _Why do the girls like him so much all of a sudden?_ He thought.

Once Kenny and Kyle walked into the school, Bebe ran up to them. She was going to run up to Kenny to give him a hug, but saw Kyle and stopped herself. She suddenly had a look of guilt on her face as well. _What the fuck?_ Kyle thought.

"Hey Bebe!" Kyle cheerily greeted her. Bebe just looked at the floor.

"Hey Kyle." She mumbled.

Kyle raised an eyebrow at her pathetic greeting. He then looked at Kenny and saw that he had a very similar look of guilt on his face as well. He was trying to think of why they both seemed so guilty, but before he could figure anything out, Bebe poked his arm.

"Can I talk to you Kyle?"

"Okay." Kyle followed Bebe over to the side of the entrance. Kenny walked off to his locker.

"Kyle, can you please not be mad at me for saying this?" Bebe asked.

Kyle had a little queasiness show up in his stomach. He didn't like where this was going, "Okay, I won't. What is it?"

"Kyle, I think we should go our separate ways."

"What?! Why?" Kyle wasn't too upset, but it still hurt him a little.

"I'm just…this just isn't working for me anymore," Bebe looked away from Kyle, "And I'm into someone else."

Kyle became a little angry, "Who?"

Bebe said something, but it was so quiet Kyle couldn't hear it.

"What?" Kyle asked. Bebe repeated herself, but Kyle still couldn't hear her, "Bebe, I can't hear you." Bebe muttered something, but Kyle still couldn't hear her, "Bebe, who? Who? I can't hear y-"

"Kenny!" Bebe yelled, "Kenny…"

* * *

**Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Still a couple questions to be answered, such as 'What will happen to Cartman? and, 'What will happen to Kyle?' and 'Where do Kenny and Bebe go from here?' and maybe another, so stay tuned. I'm not the biggest fan of romance stories, so when this one's done, don't expect another one for a while. Maybe not until I release my surprise...**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Every review means a lot, so don't be shy!**


	10. They're all breaking up

Kyle was fuming. Did his girlfriend…scratch that, EX girlfriend…just tell him that she liked KENNY?! It's one thing when they break up with you, but it's even worse when they break up with you for one of your best friends! Kyle was just hoping that Kenny didn't return the feelings. Because that's wrong. Just plain wrong.

Kyle tried his best to keep his anger from bursting out, "Kenny. Fucking Kenny. Whatever Bebe, has Kenny told you if he likes you back?"

Bebe looked at the floor, "Yeah, he does. We actually made out at my house yesterday. I'm really sorry, Kyle."

Kyle just nodded and walked away. He couldn't believe that Kenny would do this to him after all they've been through. But then again, he could believe it, since Kenny has an infatuation with girls, even though it's usually girls' boobs and pussies, not them.

_I guess Kenny cares more about girls then his own damn friends. _Kyle thought.

Stan had arrived at school after his dentist's appointment and was walking to his locker. Apparently he missed the first two classes, because everyone had their science stuff, and they don't have science until 3rd class, right before lunch. Stan walked up to his locker and opened it. He grabbed his science binder and pencil and was about to close his locker when Kyle walked up to him. Stan noticed how Kyle seemed miserable.

"Hey dude." Stan greeted his super best friend.

"Stan, can we talk?"

"Sure dude," Stan closed his locker and turned to Kyle, "What's up?"

"I…me and Bebe aren't going out anymore. She doesn't like me anymore."

Stan raised an eyebrow. Bebe _loved _Kyle's ass, even though she left him for a while. At least that's what Wendy told him. There must've been someone who's _really_ hot to make Bebe not admire Kyle's ass anymore.

"Ouch, dude, I'm sorry to hear that. There's more fish in the sea though, don't feel bad."

"No dude, that's not the bad part. I'm not one of those people who think that their first girlfriend will be their only one. I'm upset about something else," Kyle sighed heavily and looked at the floor, "Bebe left me…for Kenny."

Stan once again raised an eyebrow. Why did Kyle care? When Bebe broke up with him the first time, she left him for Clyde, but Kyle didn't care one bit. Apparently he must've asked this question aloud, because Kyle answered it.

"It's different this time. When she left me for Clyde, I didn't really care. I didn't really like her back then, and Clyde and I are just friends, we're not really that close. But between third and fourth grade, something changed, and I kinda liked her. But I still didn't like her as much as you like Wendy. So when she broke up with me this morning, I was a little disappointed, since I guess I wasn't really expecting it, but I wasn't heartbroken or anything. But when she told me that she was into Kenny…" Kyle balled up his fists at the thought of what happened earlier that morning.

Stan noticed this and tried to calm him down, "Okay, okay, I'm sorry to hear that Kyle. But like I said a few days ago, Bebe's just one of those girls that kinda jumps from guy to guy. We're only in fourth grade, and she's already had three boyfriends. I wouldn't be surprised if when we go to high school she ends up as the slut. But then again, that's what Kenny will probably end up as too, so maybe they are a perfect match."

Kyle sighed, "You're right. But still, I'm pretty mad at Kenny for doing that to me. You just don't date one of your best friends' ex-girlfriend. You know something else, Stan? Apparently when they went to Bebe's to work on the project, they ended up making out. And we're 10. They're probably going to be that one couple in this town that has sex lots of times in high school and end up regretting it." Kyle fumed.

Stan just sighed and started walking to class. Once he and Kyle reached Mr. Garrison's room, Stan turned back to Kyle, "Look dude, I feel really bad for you, but this isn't something you should be talking to me about. This is something you need to talk to Kenny about." Stan gestured to Kenny, who was engaged in a conversation with Token.

Kyle glared as soon as he laid eyes on Kenny, but nonetheless took Stan's advice, "Alright dude, whatever. But make sure this doesn't turn into something bad, I don't want drama." Kyle ordered. Stan nodded, and sat at his seat next to Kyle and watched Kyle begin his confrontation with Kenny.

"Kenny, we need to talk." Kyle said.

Kenny turned away from Token and looked at Kyle, "Oh, Kyle, h-hey." Kenny avoided looking at Kyle.

"Dude, we're good friends, no, REALLY good friends, right?"

"Y-yeah."

"Then why the fuck are you going out with my ex?" Kyle asked rather calmly.

"Dude, she said she liked me. I didn't ask her out."

"Dude, you should've told her that you didn't like her back. Why didn't you do that?" Kyle was becoming a little angrier.

"But I do, dude. What, am I supposed to lie to myself and her just because you dated her for a little while?"

"You should have at least asked me if it was okay to date her first!"

"Oh, so she's your property now? What, are you her dad or something? I don't have to ask you shit!"

"Dude, you don't just go out with one of your best friend's ex-girlfriend right after they broke up!" The class was starting to notice this argument and began to watch. Most of them had blank faces on, but Cartman was showing amusement while Bebe was showing guilt. Butters was showing interest, as well. Stan bit his lip, wondering if this was the time for him to stop them. But he decided that since it wasn't too bad, so he let them continue.

"Dude, why do you care?! Once you guys have broken up, she's free bait! Besides, you're the one who said that you don't really care if someone breaks up with you. So why do you care if I'm going out with her."

Kyle was about to put Kenny in his place, but he turned and noticed the whole class looking at him. He looked down at his desk and muttered at Kenny, "You just don't understand." Since Mr. Garrison hadn't arrived yet, Kyle excused himself from class and went to the bathroom. The class looked around at each other, wondering what the hell just happened.

"There's way too much drama in this class." Cartman said to Red. Red just nodded and giggled in reply.

Stan looked at Kenny, and when Kenny's eyes met his, Stan just shook his head at him. Kenny looked a little surprised, since he thought Stan either would understand, or just not simply get involved. Kenny just sighed and went to go do what he had to do. The class watched him walk out. Moments later, Mr. Garrison walked in, with his usual pile of books in hand.

"Alright class, let's get in our groups and continue to work on our project." Mr. Garrison went to his desk and pulled out a book. The class did as they were told. Bebe and Lola however, just sat at their desks since Kyle and Kenny left the classroom. Cartman and Red pulled out their poster and continued to work on it. After they were done, they beamed proudly at their poster. It was complete. They laid their poster on the desk. Red smiled and looked at Cartman.

"You know, Cartman, you actually did a really good job. I'm proud of you." Red said.

"Yeah, I guess I did do a good job." Cartman smiled at his work. Red just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, whatever, Mr. Selfish." Red teased.

As the other kids wrapped up their projects, Kyle walked back into the classroom. Not too far behind him was Kenny. They both looked pretty pissed, and that's when it hit Stan. This was bad. This was really bad. First they kick Cartman out of the group, and then this happens. All of Stan's good friendships are falling apart before his eyes. He had to do something about it. First he would have to fix Kyle and Kenny's friendships, which was not going to be easy, and then he would have to bring Cartman back into the group. As much as Stan didn't want to admit it, he did miss Cartman. And when he saw Cartman was hanging out with the girls, he knew he had to bring him back, because it made all the other guys look bad if Cartman was closer to the girls than they were. Because, c'mon, everyone knows that chick friends are worth three times as much as guy friends. But first, Stan had to worry about Kenny and Kyle, his closest friends.

"I guess it's all up to me." Stan muttered to himself.

* * *

**Another chapter! This story's starting to reach it's ending, so stay tuned! **

**PLEASE REVIEW! Remember, every review means a lot, so don't be shy!**


	11. Now they're all getting back together

Cartman was humming to himself as he closed his locker and went off to lunch. He about to have another lunch with his girlfriends and he was looking forward to it. The girls, even though they were a little hostile at first, once he started to dress like a gay boy they became a lot nicer to him. Now that he was really friends with them he couldn't help but realize just how much cooler they were to him than the guys. Especially Red. Cartman didn't really know why, but Red was _really _cool, even cooler than the other chicks. She's always been nicer to him than the other girls, and now that he was friends with all the girls, he could really see just how cool she was. In fact, he was going to her house to hang out with her after school. They were going to go to Sizzler's, and then he was probably going to take her to Stark's Pond. But before he could continue with these thoughts, a hand fell on his shoulders. He turned around to see Stan.

"What do you want?" Cartman asked. God, he hated Stan so much. He was one of the assholes who betrayed him. In fact, the only guy who didn't was Butters, but Cartman doesn't really hang out with Butters that much unless he needs Butters for one of his schemes, or because no one else was available to hang out with him. But it was usually the former.

"Cartman, we need to talk." Stan said.

"Oh really? Oh thank the Lord! I've been waiting for the day the great Stan Marsh would want to talk to me again. What a dream come true!" Cartman sarcastically said.

Stan just rolled his eyes at Cartman's dramatic sarcasm, " Look dude, I'm sorry. A lot of the guys are sorry. I guess we didn't realize just how…_cool_ you were." Stan had to force out the word _cool._

Cartman thought about this for a moment, and then he spoke, "Is Kahl sorry?"

"Kyle's dealing with other things, so I don't know."

"Well, if Kahl's not sorry, then I guess none of you assholes are." Cartman turned to walk away, but Stan stopped him.

"Dude, just please come back. All my friendships are falling apart before my eyes, and I don't know what to do! First I make the mistake of agreeing with Kyle and walking away from you, then Kenny stops hanging out with us, then Kenny hooks up with Bebe and completely ignores Kyle, then Kyle gets mad at Kenny, then Kenny got mad at Kyle, and now you're with the girls, Kyle and Kenny are at each other's throats, and I'm all alone." Stan started to cry into his hands. Cartman just watched him. He kinda felt bad for Stan, but he couldn't leave the girls now. They were just straight up kewler than the guys. But he kinda did miss the guys. But it was too late. He was with the girls now.

"I'm sorry Stan, but you're going to have to do better than that to get me to leave the girls." Cartman turned to walk away again, and this time Stan didn't stop him. He just watched Cartman walk into the cafeteria. He frowned. Looks like he would have to try again. He walked into the cafeteria and got his lunch, and then he went to the other guys. He sat down next to Clyde and Token, and across from Craig, Butters, and Jimmy. He sighed and looked up at them.

"Guys, don't you kinda miss Cartman?" He asked his 'other' friends.

"Miss Cartman? Dude what's wrong with you? Not having that fat tub of lard around has enriched everyone's lives." Craig droned.

"Yeah, but think about it dude, he's hanging with the girls now! Doesn't that make you guys feel like crap?" Stan tried to persuade the other guys to help bring Cartman back. The guys all looked at each other, and then they looked back at Stan.

"You're right dude. That is pretty embarrassing." Clyde said.

"Y-yeah, it kinds of m-make us look like c-c-complete l-losers." Jimmy stuttered, as always.

"So will you guys help me bring Cartman back?"

The guys thought about it. Then Clyde thought of something.

"Wait, why do we have to bring him back? Why can't we just dress up like gay people like Cartman did?" Clyde asked. The other guys, except for Butters, agreed. Butters spoke.

"Now wait a minute fellas. Why aren't you guys hanging out with Eric anymore? Eric isn't a bad person; he just isn't a nice one either. You guys shouldn't just leave him like that. You never know fellas, the girls might've changed him a little."

Stan agreed, "Yeah, what Butters said."

The guys looked at each other. Although they all knew they were gonna regret it, they agreed to help Stan.

"Fine."

"Let's do it."

"I' probably gonna regret it, but whatever."

"A-a-a-alright."

"Yippee!"

Stan smiled at the approval of his friends. His friendships were gonna go back to normal, they just had to.

Kyle sat outside the school on the steps. The Goth Kids were smoking away and listening to their stupid music next to him, but he was just trying to ignore them. All he could do was think. And not think about Bebe, he honestly didn't give two shits about her anymore, but think of Kenny and what he did. It was so wrong. He couldn't believe what Kenny did to him. You just don't go after one of your best friends' ex-girlfriends like that. It's just so wrong. Kyle continued to watch the ground and think when he heard the door open. He turned around and saw Kenny standing there, watching him. Kyle glared and turned away. Kenny walked over and sat down next to Kyle.

"Kyle, I'm sorry." Kenny said.

"You said that to me in the bathroom already."

"I should've thought about you and not on her that soon. Or get Mr. Garrison to partner us up for the project."

"Told me that in the bathroom too."

Kenny sighed, "But Kyle, you have to look at it from my perspective. I like Bebe. She likes me too. Why do you have a problem with that?"

"I don't have a problem with it dude. I just wish that you would've talked to me first."

Kenny looked down at the ground, "You're totally, one-hundred percent right. I should've talked to you. But I was thinking of you whenever I was with Bebe. I just felt so bad. I didn't want to hurt you, but I couldn't just let Bebe go. And then when she told me she liked me too, I just snapped. And then we maked out. But I'm really sorry, Kyle. I really am."

Kyle sighed. While Kyle was still mad at Kenny, they've been through too much for it to go to shit over something as stupid as a girl. Kyle smiled at Kenny.

"It's alright dude, at least you're sorry. You're right, I shouldn't care. After all, it's just an elementary school relationship, right? It isn't anything major," Kyle stood up and offered Kenny a hand, "C'mon dude, let's go to lunch."

Kenny took Kyle's offering and used his hand to get up. They let go of each other's hands and smiled and talked on the way to the cafeteria.

* * *

**The story's almost over! How will the guys get Cartman to come back? Will Kyle be kewl with it? And how will Cartman's visit to Red's house (If he even goes) go? Stay tuned to find out!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Remember, every review means a lot, so don't be shy!**


	12. Come back

All the kids were enjoying their recess. Well, not quite everyone, since Stan and Kyle were arguing over something. They certainly weren't enjoying their recess.

"Dude, Kyle, all the guys agreed to let him back! Just give your agreement!" Stan pleaded.

"Why, Stan? So he could go back to belittling my people? So he could go back to making fun of Kenny's poor financial state? So he could continue to trick and make fun of Butters? No thanks dude. Let that fatass hang out with the girls."

"So you don't have a problem with the girls liking _Cartman…_more than you?"

Kyle thought it over. It was pretty sad for Fatass to be closer to the girls than he was. But Kyle wouldn't give up.

"Dude, who cares? We're only in elementary school anyway. We shouldn't be worrying about who's the closest to the girls."

"But Kyle, if we're not at least kind of close to them now, then we'll be screwed come high school." Stan didn't believe this, but he had to convince his best friend to let Cartman back into the group somehow.

Kyle sighed, "Fine dude, let's just get this over with. But I'm telling you Stan, you will regret this! All of you will!"

Stan and Kyle walked over to where Cartman was sitting with Red, Heidi and Kal. Cartman glared at them.

"Oh God, what do you guys want now?" Cartman huffed.

"Cartman, all of us are sorry for kicking you out of the group and would like to welcome you back." Stan said.

Cartman looked at Kyle, "Even you, Kahl?" Cartman asked with an evil smirk.

Kyle sighed again, "Yeah Cartman, even me."

Cartman stood up, "I'm glad you guys finally came to your senses and realized that I'm a very important part of the group." Cartman began to walk over to the guys side of the playground with Stan and Kyle, but was topped by Heidi.

"Woah Eric, are you just gonna leave us? After all we did for you? We took you in, and let you become our friend, and you're going to leave us just like that?"

Cartman thought about it. The girls were pretty kewl to him, even kewler than the guys, but Cartman just felt more in place with the guys. With the girls he would have to wear these gay clothes and pretend that he cared about their problems, even though he didn't. With the guys he could be himself, even though the guys made fun of him a lot more than the girls did. Cartman sighed.

"Sorry girls, but I just feel more in place with the guys."

Red walked up to Cartman, "Fine Eric, you can go back to them, but can you please just…hang out with me after school like you said you would?" She looked at him with pleading eyes.

"Fine Red, whatever."

Red smiled and went back to her friends little group. Cartman didn't really want to go, but he just couldn't say no to that face of hers…wait, what? Cartman shook his head and tried to strike up a conversation with Stan and Kyle.

"So, how have you guys been these last few days?"

"Fine." Stan and Kyle said in unison.

"Where's Kinny?"

Stan glanced at Kyle, who was just glaring at the ground. Stan spoke up, "He's hanging out with Bebe."

Cartman raised an eyebrow, "Why would he do that? Although, I guess that explains why Bebe wasn't with us at recess."

"Bebe and Kenny are going out now." Stan said.

"But I thought that Bebe was with…" A big grin grew on Cartman's face, "Aw, did little Jewboy have his little feelings hurt?" Cartman patronized Kyle.

Kyle didn't reply. Instead, he just shot a glare at Stan, as if telling him _See what you did, dude?_

All Stan could do was shrug.

Cartman watched the clock eagerly. Any second now the bell would ring and Cartman would go to his locker, grab all his shit, and head over to Red's house. For some reason, he was looking forward to going to Red's house. Maybe it was because Red was kewler than all the other girls. Even though the other girls were kewl too. Cartman jumped out of his seat as the bell rang and ran to his locker. Several other kids were doing the same, but Cartman didn't care. He was focused on doing what he had to do to get over to Red's. He shoved his books into his backpack and began walking towards Red's house. Cartman had exited the school when Kyle, Stan, and Butters walked up to him.

"Hey Cartman, we're heading over to the movies, wanna come?" Butters cheerfully asked.

"Uh, lemme think for a second…NO! I already have plans."

Kenny and Stan looked at each other, "What plans?" Kenny asked.

"Just, y'know, plans. Oh well I don't wanna be late so I'll see you guys later." Cartman nervously walked away from the group of boys. He didn't have time to waste. He just wanted to get there and do whatever she wanted him too. He felt like there was supposed to be something else to do as well, but he forgot what it was.

Cartman found Red's house. It looked pretty much the same as the other ones. He walked up to the house and rang the doorbell. The bus usually would have dropped everyone home by now. And Red said she was riding home, and that she would meet him there. Cartman sat around for a couple second until Red answered it.

"Hey Cartman!" Red greeted.

* * *

**Only one chapter left! I felt like shortening this one because it's after 3 A.M and I want to go to bed. What will happen between Red and Cartman? Stay tuned to find out!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! You know the rules.**


	13. Cartman and Red

**Here it is, the final chapter! Enjoy!**

**QUESTION: Do you guys want to see me rewrite Relationship Rehab (my other story) or just forget about it? I noticed that I didn't get as much attention on that story, so I don't know if you guys are enjoying it or not. Tell me in the reviews, alright? **

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Cartman and Red walked to Sizzler's like they planned, and they ordered the fries and ice cream. Cartman was gobbling down all his food while Red ate normally. Red noticed Cartman scarfing down everything and raised an eyebrow.

"Eric, you should slow down." Red said.

"Why?"

"Because if you eat too fast, you might get a tummy ache."

"Whatever." Cartman continued scarfing down all of his food.

Red decided to change the subject, "So, what did the guys say to you to get you to become friends with them again?"

"They just said that they're sorry. Even Kahl." Cartman smiled triumphantly at the fact that he got Kyle to apologize to him.

"And that was enough to get you to leave us?"

Cartman shrugged, "I guess. Why do you care so much anyway? It's not like we'll never see each other again."

Red frowned. Why _did_ she care so much? She just found the new Cartman so…attractive. She just didn't want him to go back to his mean old ways.

"I just don't want to see you go back to the way you were." Red said quietly.

Cartman was silent. As much as he wanted to just call her a pussy, he couldn't help but frown at the sad face she was sporting. He sighed.

"Fine, fine, I'll try to be nicer around you and the girls…except for Wendy. Fuck that bitch." Cartman shoved another spoonful of ice cream into his mouth.

Red rolled her eyes at Cartman's comment toward Wendy, but smiled nonetheless. She and Cartman finished their food and got up. They walked and talked until they reached Stark's Pond. Cartman was a little bored, but stayed with Red anyway. He didn't want to break off their plans. He watched Red as she picked a flower off the ground, and then watched the water. She finally walked over to him, and Cartman brightened up, hoping that she would say that they could go home now, but she sat down next to him on the log he was sitting on and looked at her flower that she picked. She then faced Cartman.

"Isn't this pretty? I love coming here. It's so…beautiful."

Cartman rolled his eyes. _She is such a girl,_ he thought.

Red smiled at him, "Thanks for bringing me here. Actually, thanks for hanging out with me today. It was fun."

Cartman raised an eyebrow, "What was so fun about this?"

Red shrugged and scooted closer to him, "I think being here was the fun part. Just enjoying nature," She looked at him, "And being here with you."

Cartman looked at her. He decided to take that as a sign that she liked being his friend, instead of something else. He stood up.

"Well, that's great, but I'm tired. So can we please go home?" Cartman turned and began walking away, and Red sighed and followed.

They walked back to Red's house with little conversation. All Red could do was think. She thought that scooting close to him and saying what she said to him would be enough for him to get what she was trying to imply, but it wasn't. She honestly didn't know why she liked him, since he was mean and fat, but there was just something about him. Maybe she just started to like the new Cartman too much. She continued to walk with Cartman until they reached her house. It was pretty dark out, so her parents probably wouldn't be too happy. She walked up to her door and turned toward Cartman, who was watching her with a blank face. She smiled at him.

"Well, it was fun hanging out today." She said.

"Yeah, I guess." Cartman said.

"Do you wanna do it again sometime?"

"Yeah, yeah whatever." Cartman said impatiently.

Red sighed and opened her door. She was about to walk in when she turned around and ran up to Cartman and kissed him. She was expecting him to pull back disgusted or angered, but he didn't. In fact, she could've sworn that he was kissing back. She pulled away and looked at the ground.

"I'm sorry, I just had to do that."

Cartman just stared at her. He was clearly dazed, so Red just giggled and turned away to walk into her house. She looked around and noticed her parents weren't home, and then she saw a note on the table. She quickly read it.

_Hey sweetie, mom and dad have decided to go out for dinner, since we haven't for a while. We were waiting for you so you could join us, but you took too long, and since you left your phone at home (don't ever do that again!) we decided to go on without you. We made dinner for you and put it in the microwave, so if you get hungry it's there. See you soon!_

_Mom and Dad_

Red smiled. This means that she could invite Cartman inside. She turned and ran back outside, and saw Cartman walking toward the sidewalk.

"Cartman!"

Cartman turned toward her.

"Wanna come inside? My parents aren't home."

Cartman thought for a second, and decided to do so. Maybe she had some good food.

"Okay."

Cartman walked inside and Red closed the door.

Red and Cartman sat on the couch and turned on the TV. She and Cartman watched TV in silence for a while until Red decided to speak up.

"Cartman?"

Cartman turned toward her.

"Are you mad for what happened outside?"

Cartman shook his head, "No. It's okay."

Red looked at her hands, "Cartman, I'm sure you've figured out by now, but I kinda like you," She looked at a blank-faced Cartman and continued, "D-do you like me too?"

Cartman was silent for a while, and Red was sure he was gonna say no, and maybe even leave. But he just nodded.

"Yeah, I think I like you too."

Red smiled and scooted closer to him. They chatted happily and even kissed again before Cartman left. As Cartman was walking home, he couldn't help but think about everything that's happened to him over the course of the last few days.

_Things aren't back to the way they were, _he thought happily, _they're even better._

* * *

**And there it is! I think I made Cartman a little OOC, but Cartman isn't always a dick on the show, he's shown his soft side, so I decided to use that here. So yeah, for my first complete story, I thought I did okay, even though I think I could've managed the plot a little better, but it's my first complete story, so I think it's fine. Now that I've finished this story, I think I'm going to take a little break, then decide on what to do next, since I still might rewrite Relationship Rehab. And I also have a couple ideas on what to do for my next story, even though I still have to plan out the plot.**

**PLEASE REVIEW! Every review means a lot, so don't be scared! (Randy fart)**


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